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February 26, 2024Many of us (myself included) have used the accusation you always__ or you never __ in arguments with loved ones. This is an all too common response that we refer to as the always/never cycle and if used consistently will...
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November 28, 2023In the course of our lives, we all use defenses—strategies safeguarding us from the pain of challenging emotions or memories. One common defense, known as “projection” or “projective identification,” involves attributing threatening feelings to others and identifying with those emotions....
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October 28, 2023If I don’t trust you, can you trust me? If you don’t trust me, how could I trust you? If we want to trust each other, who is going to trust first? I’ll lower my guard if you start by lowering...
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October 27, 2023Trust In Therapy Ideally, trust begins to develop at birth when the people who care for us are loving and attentive and our basic needs are met. We can live at ease, knowing that our world is safe, and feel free...
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October 21, 2023Is it possible to trust too easily or is mistrust and blind trust sides of the same coin? Here we examine the connection.
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October 21, 2023You might ask yourself why am I feeling unsafe and anxious when I everything around me tells me I am ok? Why do some people breeze through life with confidence and calm, and others are consumed by thoughts of danger...
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October 15, 2023A common pattern in relationships is going over things and not resolving them or effectively leaving them in the past. This post addresses why we get into this pattern and ways to get out.
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October 15, 2023You have finally ended an abusive relationship and you find yourself struggling with letting go. In this post we examine why that is so common.
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February 25, 2020Understanding Parts Work Excerpt from Video Understanding Parts Work Here is a clear description of parts work from an Internal Family Systems perspective. Parts are described as relating to the schemas we develop throughout our lives based on our experiences in life....
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January 15, 2018Negotiating what you want in relationships is an essential skill. In This post we discuss the common strategies that lead to disconnection.
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May 28, 2016Developing trust in relationships is essential to feeling content and secure in our life. In this post we examine how you can do this.
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September 21, 2015Struggles to Feel Normal. Safety-related to wanting to feel normal Let’s Take an Example. How do you belong without diminishing yourself? Struggles to Feel Normal. I am not sure I have ever said ‘I want to feel normal.’ I think I have been one of...
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September 5, 2015The Road To Self Acceptance How do we change if we don’t strive to be better? How we develop a lack of self acceptance Change and self acceptance What if being myself (self acceptance)causes problems for others? The Road To Self Acceptance Is your self acceptance...
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May 12, 2015The causes of depression are complicated and is a part of the human experience for most people at some point. These thoughts are attempting to look at it in the broader context.
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February 5, 2015Emotions are crucial to our integration and healing . Here's why.
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January 12, 2015The Importance of Emotional Connection If I feel emotions I won’t stop Emotions never solved anything But there is a cost to avoiding emotional connection We get stuck in a cycle How to break this cycle and connect with your vitality. The Importance of Emotional Connection Do...
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November 21, 2014Mindfulness can heal Lose your mind and come to your senses What science has told us about mindfulness What it means to be regulated How we can heal traumatic experiences Working with a small piece at a time Mindfulness can heal Mindfulness at its core is nothing...
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October 4, 2014Are you paralyzed by self-doubt? How this habit of self-doubt can take us over. How asking for opinions doesn’t help. So how do move out of the self-doubt cycle? Are you paralyzed by self-doubt? Self-doubt can become a habit that prevents us from making decisions,...