Connection through an IFS perspective
The Path to Deeper Connection with Yourself and Others Feeling disconnected is often at the root of what folks are dealing with when they come to therapy. Common experiences such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, childhood abuse, relationship conflict, or many other struggles are expressions of some kind of disconnection. To gain a deeper connection with […]
Mindmapping your parts
🧠 Mindmapping Your System: A Parts Work Tool To Begin To Understand Your Internal System. Mindmapping is a highly effective tool for visually noting the different “parts” within your system and tracking your progress as you explore and heal areas in therapy. Understanding Your “Parts” In this context, a part is anything that repeatedly responds to an internal aspect […]
From Inner Critic to Self-Compassion: Schemas and Parts Work.
Schema theory, developed by Jeffrey Young, proposes that early experiences can lead to the development of deeply held beliefs and feelings about oneself and the world, called “schemas.” These schemas shape our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout life. Understanding how your experiences have shaped your responses to the world can be helpful. In many ways, […]
Counselling for Chronic Pain.
It’s not uncommon for people living with chronic pain to be reluctant about seeking help from a therapist. For some, it feels like admitting that their pain isn’t real and that it is “all in their head.” Others don’t see how a mental health provider could help with something they see as a physical issue. […]
Trauma Cycles
I have been thinking recently about cycles, and cycles of trauma in particular. As I examine what is happening in our world today, I can only conclude that we have not moved past our traumas very well. We are in a constant state of amnesia and denial, repeating atrocities done to us to others. In […]
Are Your Symptoms From ADHD or Trauma? Or both?
Suppose you’re considering therapy because you’re experiencing things like anxiety, difficulty concentrating, issues with motivation and organization, and big emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. In that case, you might be wondering if you’re dealing with the effects of trauma or if it’s ADHD. It could be both. As awareness and understanding of […]
Understanding that repair is one-sided.
Many people I work with find this difficult to understand, so in this post, I will discuss aspects of repair in relationships. Let’s start by acknowledging what we need to repair in a relationship. That might seem obvious, but let’s lay the foundation. It begins with a communication or action by your partner that leaves […]
Are ‘parts’ real? A discussion of IFS and the use of our imagination.
So, I want to put IFS into perspective and discuss how we might see a “part.” Parts are not new. Conceptualizing our psyche as made up of parts is nothing new. Whether it is spirits, different energies, Freud’s Id, Ego and Superego, the true self and false self, seeing different systems of emotion, thinking and […]
The Shame Cycle Explained
This cycle of shame is hard to break. Understanding how this develops to find a way out and heal can be helpful. Here are the steps: A bad thing happened to me. When hurtful things happen in childhood, we don’t see that action as separate from ourselves. We haven’t developed the cognitive understanding that […]
How to change the Always/Never cycle in communication.
Many of us (myself included) have used the accusation you always__ or you never __ in arguments with loved ones. This is an all too common response that we refer to as the always/never cycle and if used consistently will erode trust and connection in an intimate relationship. You have likely been given well-meaning advice […]