Let go of the tyranny of comparison and perfectionism and discover your true worth.
“You are no better or worse than anyone else and they are no better or worse than you. Appropriate shame means I feel bad about the bad things I’ve done, and still hold myself in warm regard as a flawed human being. In order to be intimate you have to bring yourself up from shame and down from grandiosity. This is an essential skill in relationships.”
- Terry Real
From the moment we’re born, we yearn for encouragement and approval. It’s deeply human to need to feel wanted, seen, and included. We’re driven to contribute, to feel valuable, and to make a difference – to matter to the people around us.
But what if you learned that to matter was based on what you do instead of who you are?
Parents often strive for the best for their children, sometimes pushing too hard. If your childhood involved abuse, neglect, or inconsistent rules, it can leave you feeling unwanted or even hated. This confusion can make it incredibly difficult to understand what’s expected of you. They may feel like they’re constantly trying to prove themselves worthy of their parents’ love.
As a result, you may find you have:
We often set unrealistic standards for ourselves, leading to disappointment and frustration.
This constant critic whispers doubts and self-criticism, impacting our thoughts and actions.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and competition.
Discover that your presence is all that is needed to be worthy and is the essence of self-acceptance.
If you’ve been searching for Vancouver self-esteem counselling, our team is here to support you with empathy and wisdom.
Counseling for self-esteem goes beyond simply reducing symptoms like low mood or anxiety. It aims to fundamentally change how you relate to yourself.
Self-esteem is the foundation of our inner world. It influences how we navigate challenges, cope with stress, and build meaningful relationships.
We often get stuck in two unhelpful patterns:
Both these patterns, while seemingly opposite, stem from a deep-seated fear of facing our limitations, mistakes, and the fear of losing connection with ourselves and others.
Absolutely. In counselling, we would explore your internal response to being complimented or praised. The desire to resist it or dismiss a compliment can result from childhood experiences that create a defence against attention or praise. There can be fears about attention in general or criticism about being prideful.
Many of us have developed self-critical parts of us in response to things that have happened in our lives. We mirror those around us, family, teachers, peers and discrimination. Making it difficult to make mistakes and be different from others. We will work with you to heal those experiences and develop self-compassion.
This is a very common experience for many of us. The more we feel we let ourselves down, the more self-critical we become, which can lead to despair and depression. If you notice this, reach out and get support. We will work with you to bring compassion to these parts of you, understand the cycle, and heal the shame you carry to become freer to be who you are.
This is a complex question that we will explore in therapy. Because self-esteem is such a core issue, it is an ongoing commitment. Our earlier experiences have such a profound impact on our worth, and depending on the extent that others have devalued us will determine what we need to heal. Having said that, it is our experience that people can begin to develop a new relationship with themselves after a few sessions, which has the possibility of continuing to grow.
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“Amanda is incredibly insightful, empathetic, warm and helpful. She approaches her interactions with open-hearted curiosity, and always has the perfect balance of practical feedback, deep insight and non-judgemental listening. Without exception, conversations with Amanda are comforting and illuminating. “
— Mollie Deyong
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— Bradley Klaver
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— Mehdi
If you’re ready to move beyond self-criticism and into self-acceptance, our self-esteem therapy services can help you rediscover your strengths and innate value. Reach out today to begin your journey towards greater confidence and resilience.
After reading our therapist’s bios, perhaps you are drawn to one or two, but you want to double-check. No problem!
You’re ready to get going and know who you want to work with.