Do your relationships leave you confused, on eggshells and doubting yourself?

Providing counselling for narcissistic abuse recovery in Vancouver and across BC.

The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissism isn’t just about someone being self-centered. It’s a deep-rooted pattern of behavior that stems from a fragile sense of self. While extreme narcissism (narcissistic personality disorder) is relatively rare, narcissistic traits are common. These traits can include:

  • Need constant admiration and validation.
  • Lack empathy and consideration for others.
  • Exploit and manipulate those around them.
  • Have a grandiose sense of self-importance.
  • Are envious of others and struggle to tolerate criticism.

It’s easy to label someone a narcissist these days. We often use it to describe anyone who seems self-absorbed or entitled. But true narcissistic abuse is different.

It’s a subtle and insidious pattern of behavior. Narcissists use manipulative tactics to control and exploit others. They may gaslight you, blame you for their problems, or try to isolate you from friends and family.

The impact of narcissistic abuse can be devastating. It can leave you feeling confused, worthless, and traumatised. Even though it often starts psychologically, it can escalate into physical, sexual, financial, or even spiritual abuse. You may be struggling with;

  • Feel unsure you were abused at all.
  • Feel that you are too sensitive, overreacting, imagining things
  • Doubt yourself and second-guess yourself. 
  • Lack trust in your judgments and perceptions.
  • Tend to Idealize and feel protective towards them despite being hurt.

If you suspect you’re in a narcissistic relationship or struggling to leave, please reach out for help. We are here to support you without judgment. At Turning Point Therapy, our therapists understand the dynamics that make it hard to leave. 

 

The Way We Work : Get the Support You Deserve

Our therapists understand the impact of narcissism on relationships. Narcissism isn’t just about extreme personalities; it exists on a spectrum. Many people can exhibit narcissistic traits as a way to cope with shame and guilt, and when under stress can move into more narcissistic strategies.

What we offer:

  • Understanding Narcissistic Dynamics: We help you understand how narcissistic behaviors, even subtle ones, affect your relationships and self-esteem.
  • Healing from Relational Trauma: We provide support and guidance to heal from the emotional wounds caused by narcissistic relationships.
  • Developing Healthy Boundaries: We empower you to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships.
  • Building Self-Esteem: We work with you to rebuild your self-esteem and cultivate a healthy sense of self-worth.
  • Exploring a Decision to Leave a Relationship: We work with you to explore the often difficult decision to leave a relationship, with no judgement about what you should do.  

Frequently Asked Questions

The truth is as humans, there are many ways we can hurt others. Some of that is intentional, unconscious or simply a moment we are at our worst and under stress. These kinds of strategies can be occasional or consistent and have roots in our need for control or self-protection. The hallmarks of narcissistic abuse are psychological manipulation and the need to exploit others. Regardless of the type of abuse, if you are being hurt and controlled by someone in your life, counselling can help you untangle and find the strength to live for you.

This is a complex question and one we would explore in therapy. It is dependent on many factors that are both individual and particular to the dynamics of your relationship. It can be hard to overcome and leave when we feel responsible for the person’s well-being and believe we are to blame, coupled with a fear of being alone. The good news is with the right kind of support we can develop the courage and resilience to make hard decisions and find freedom.

  • Lack of Boundaries: They don’t respect your space, feelings, or needs. Their desires always come first.
  • Denial: They refuse to acknowledge the truth, especially if it makes them look bad.
  • Devaluation: They need to feel superior, often at the expense of others.
  • Divide and Conquer: They create group conflict to isolate and control individuals.
  • Emotional Blackmail: They use threats, guilt, and intimidation to get their way.
  • Finger-pointing: They blame others for their own mistakes and never take responsibility.
  • Fishing: They manipulate people by playing on their desire to help or fix things.
  • Gaslighting: They make you doubt yourself and question your sanity.
  • Idealisation: They put others on a pedestal (or themselves) and expect perfection.
  • Inconsistency: They say one thing and do another, making it hard to trust them.
  • Love-bombing: They overwhelm you with affection and attention to gain your trust and control.
  • Tantrums: They react childishly with anger, shouting, and the silent treatment.
  • Topping: They always need to outdo others, even negatively (e.g., exaggerating illnesses).

This will depend on many factors, which come down to the consequences of not changing. This is often the same for most people, but for someone struggling with narcissism, simply recognising that they are hurting those around them is not enough. They have to lose something very valuable to them, such as a job, relationship, money etc. Because of the depths of self-protection and denial that have developed, it is hard to break through these for someone who has narcissistic traits.

Reviews

5.0 rating

“Tamsen has always been deeply thoughtful, caring, connected and helped me foster new insights. I can highly recommend them. Thank you Tamsen!”

— Peter Lambert

5.0 rating

“Sarah’s counseling is top-notch! Even though she’s an intern, her support game is strong. She creates this awesome vibe that just makes change and growth feel natural. Super easy to talk to, and you can tell she genuinely cares. If you’re looking for solid, supportive counseling, Sarah’s your go-to!”

— Mehdi.

5.0 rating

“Every person who comes here will have a subjective experience with a counselor. What I can say is that, Turning point therapy makes it easy to book appointments, and offers a good range of therapists for any price range.”

— Silvia Martinez.

How to Get Started: Reconnect with your experience and confidence

If you believe you’ve been affected by narcissistic abuse—or suspect someone close to you displays these traits—know that help is available. We offer narcissism counselling to guide you toward understanding, healing, and healthier relationships.

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