In the course of our lives, we all use defenses—strategies safeguarding us from the pain of challenging emotions or memories. One common defense, known as “projection” or “projective identification,” involves attributing threatening feelings to others and identifying with those emotions. However, this defense can lead to frustration as we lack control over others’ feelings. This dynamic is exemplified in the … Read More
Many of my clients talk about trusting too easily, especially when something happens where they feel betrayed or let down. Often what follows is an examination about how they trusted this person too much. If they had been less trusting this wouldn’t have happened. I believe that blind trust and unhealthy mistrust are sides of the same coin. Both lead … Read More
How do we feel safe in a world full of danger and impermanence? Why do some people breeze through life with confidence and calm, and others are consumed by thoughts of danger and betrayal? We know our health, and the quality of our lives, are affected by the degree to which we feel safe and can develop trust. In this … Read More
I am not sure I have ever said ‘I want to feel normal.’ In fact, I think I have been one of those people at the other end of the spectrum who has made a point of being different and expressed my independence at every opportunity. Being unique and authentic has been a lifelong task. For me, it came from … Read More
We know what the experience of depression is. When we are depressed our system shuts down. Our energy, our aliveness, our feelings, our motivation and creativity, and our will to truly live become muted and dampened. We mostly shut down gradually and imperceptibly. There is a stuck feeling to being depressed. Our feelings and thoughts come slowly and painfully. Depression is … Read More
Mindfulness at its core is nothing new. Bringing attention to our experience is fundamentally what mindfulness refers to. What is interesting is that the research confirms the benefits and provides us with information to inform our practice. One of the benefits is how we can practice mindfulness to calm emotional reactivity.