How to change the Always/Never cycle in communication.


Two women arguing. One has her hand over her face the other raised hands in front of her.

Many of us (myself included) have used the accusation you always__ or you never __  in arguments with loved ones.  This is an all too common response that we refer to as the always/never cycle and if used consistently will erode trust and connection in an intimate relationship.  You have likely been given well-meaning advice about not using these words … Read More

Unveiling the Dance of Perfectionism, Anxiety, and Projection

Alisa Chirpicinic RCCTrauma, Relationships

In the course of our lives, we all use defenses—strategies safeguarding us from the pain of challenging emotions or memories. One common defense, known as “projection” or “projective identification,” involves attributing threatening feelings to others and identifying with those emotions. However, this defense can lead to frustration as we lack control over others’ feelings. This dynamic is exemplified in the … Read More

Relational Trust

Aron Buky-Tompa RCCRelationships

If I don’t trust you, can you trust me? If you don’t trust me, how could I trust you? If we want to trust each other, who is going to trust first? I’ll lower my guard if you start by lowering yours!