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November 28, 2023In the course of our lives, we all use defenses—strategies safeguarding us from the pain of challenging emotions or memories. One common defense, known as “projection” or “projective identification,” involves attributing threatening feelings to others and identifying with those emotions....
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November 7, 2023Is perfectionism healthy for us? If you were to ask most counselors and psychotherapists you may get several ideas and explanations, however, the overall, resounding answer from most professionals would be: ’no, not really’. The concept of ‘healthy perfectionism’ can...
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October 28, 2023If I don’t trust you, can you trust me? If you don’t trust me, how could I trust you? If we want to trust each other, who is going to trust first? I’ll lower my guard if you start by lowering... -
October 27, 2023Ideally, trust begins to develop at birth when the people who care for us are loving and attentive and our basic needs are met. We can live at ease, knowing that our world is safe, and feel free to grow...
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October 21, 2023Many of my clients talk about trusting too easily, especially when something happens where they feel betrayed or let down. Often what follows is an examination about how they trusted this person too much. If they had been less trusting...
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October 21, 2023How do we feel safe in a world full of danger and impermanence? Why do some people breeze through life with confidence and calm, and others are consumed by thoughts of danger and betrayal? We know our health, and the...
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October 15, 2023Do you have that urge to bring up past situations, again and again with your partner? Something happens that you thought you had discussed already or come to an agreement about, and here it is again! Perhaps you have the...
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October 15, 2023Have you struggled to leave an abusive relationship, or have difficulty letting go? You are not alone. It is the very things that make a relationship abusive, that make it so hard to leave or move on. Your grief is normal...
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February 25, 2020Here is a clear description of parts work from an Internal Family Systems perspective. Parts are described as relating to the schemas we develop throughout our lives based on our experiences in life. These are outdated ideas about...
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January 15, 2018Negotiation in relationships is essential as you attempt to get what you want from your partner. Not all strategies lead to loving and positive interactions. This blog identifies 5 strategies that make it harder to get your needs met and...
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May 28, 2016Do you ever wonder why some people can breeze through life with confidence and calm when you are quickly consumed by thoughts of danger and betrayal? Your instincts are needed to tell you when there is a threat, and you...
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September 21, 2015I am not sure I have ever said ‘I want to feel normal.’ In fact, I think I have been one of those people at the other end of the spectrum who has made a point of being different and...
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September 5, 2015Dare to Be You Is your self-acceptance affected by trying to do the right thing, not making waves, and being careful not to upset people? Do you find that living this way leaves you feeling disconnected, and you don’t feel real? ...
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May 12, 2015We know what the experience of depression is. When we are depressed our system shuts down. Our energy, our aliveness, our feelings, our motivation and creativity, and our will to truly live become muted and dampened. We mostly shut down...
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February 5, 2015In therapy, our main task is to integrate new experiences. This is no less true whether we are getting over a relationship breakup or dealing with depression, or obsessing over loosing weight. You might ask, why don’t we easily just...
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October 4, 2014Are you often paralyzed by self-doubt? This seems to be a common struggle for so many people I work with, stifling their ability to make decisions and pursue goals in their lives. Being uncertain or having doubts is normal and healthy. Life...