Table of Contents
It is common and understandable to have reactions to “parts work”. It is becoming a way of working with trauma and family dysfunction that has been made popular by Internal Family Systems (IFS). Many of our therapists use it and are trained in it. Common reactions to having parts of us are – I don’t have parts; I am just me, or that parts are not real; we imagine them. There may be other reactions. One that comes up for me (even though I work in this way) is that I wouldn’t say I like to go along with the latest fad and that nothing is new.
So, I want to put IFS into perspective and discuss how we might see a “part.”
Parts are not new.
Conceptualizing our psyche as made up of parts is nothing new. Whether it is spirits, different energies, Freud’s Id, Ego and Superego, the true self and false self, seeing different systems of emotion, thinking and body, and even contradictory feelings we are at war with. Humans have experienced themselves and made sense of it by seeing different aspects of the whole.
IFS is just one recent way this has developed. Richard Schwartz has put his particular spin on it that has resonated with many people. I like the IFS way of conceptualizing this multiplicity within us in a number of ways.
No bad part.
Historically, parts of ourselves have been pathologized, from psychological defences that must be eliminated to faulty thinking and problematic behaviour. IFS has the possibility of bringing so much self-compassion to the table. Why is this? This perspective understands that parts are born from what happened to us and the many creative ways humans (and children) have to survive and adapt.
We are all systems
The second is that it satisfies my brain, which likes to figure out how things happen. I love the details of how one thing leads to another. We are a system within many other systems, and how we take in and reenact those systems we swim in. It gives a straightforward developmental process to understand how we shut off parts of our authentic being and live a restricted life. The good news is that we can begin to peel away the layers and dismantle the impact of patriarchal, discriminating, hateful, shaming, and singleminded systems by working with our parts to create a freer, self-compassionate system.
Being self-led
Thirdly, I like how it works towards what IFS calls self-led, which means that healing our system depends on us. Bringing our compassion, curiosity and presence to our parts is what heals us and lifts the constricted, fearful and shameful messages we accepted early on. By working in this way, we move away from an outside authority (such as a therapist:) that we might focus on to help us and provide the compassion and presence we need towards our self-empowerment and resilience. That is not to say that relationships are unnecessary; rather, we are the means and authority for our healing. `
So What Is A Part?
A part has many descriptions. We could call it a reaction, coping strategy, aspect of ourselves, defence, protection, habit, energetic force, and unconscious re-enactment. The main characteristic of a part is that it is repetitive and has a purpose in trying to manage something internally or externally. All of the above words to describe a part could have this definition. Calling it a part is simply the limitation of language trying to describe an experience.
Sometimes, we may have a response in the moment. Let’s say we feel sad in response to a tragedy. Our sadness is not necessarily a “part,” although it could be attached to a repetitive response. It could simply be a momentary feeling that is free to express itself and pass on. We might identify a part that responds to the sadness by shutting it down, a part that fears our vulnerability.
Generally, a part carries elements of control motivated by fear or shame. A part does not live in the moment. It was formed and lives in the past and responds to the now. By bringing our self-compassionate presence to respond to these parts of us, we can work with it to release this fear and shame and acknowledge how and why we learned to do this.
In the moment, we do not necessarily experience ourselves as many parts unless we are ambivalent and stuck between 2 sides of us that have competing desires. For the most part, when we are in a reaction, that is all there is. This reaction takes over; we only experience that and no other part of us. When we turn towards this reaction, our observing self comes into action and notices the reaction. This process of becoming conscious of our internal life and the different parts of us creates a space that notices rather than acts out of the part.
Our imagination
So when we engage in this process of noticing, is where in IFS, our imagination comes in. The noticing creates a space where we can dialogue and learn what this part carries and why it does what it does. Imagination is available to flesh out this experience of the part. In this way, we start with the experience of the part, for example, shutting down on feeling sad and noticing how that feels in our body. As we sit with that, we might allow an image to emerge to represent that experience. If an image comes, it will enable a focus to engage with the part in an internal dialogue. In this way, our imagination is our friend and is rooted in the experience of the part.
Change is hard
A habitual response that we might want to change is a challenging task. From an IFS perspective, it is easy to see why. Our internal system has many layers connected to early experiences of trauma. This is why attempting to replace one coping strategy with a perceived better coping strategy is less effective if we are not paying attention to how that coping strategy connects to our trauma. A popular catchphrase from neurobiology is ‘neurons that fire together are wired together’. This repetitive firing of neurons is what makes parts tenacious and singleminded.
Here is an exercise you can download to explore your parts. It is useful in between sessions to explore the reactions and parts that come up in response to someone or a situation.