Delyse’s Approach To Therapy
Theories and research inform our practice as therapists. These days there are hundreds of approaches and methods that all have their piece of wisdom and style. I am continually training in therapeutic methods that add to my counselling approach.
My approach has developed over the past 30yrs and includes the following components of the therapeutic process.
- Working within the present moment and experience.
- Directing a clients focus of attention to notice sensation, emotion/energy, thoughts and desires as they arise in the moment.
- Process experiences to strengthen positive and new experiences of the self and others.
- Release emotions that are tolerable, develop self-regulation (ability to be calm and grounded).
- Use of imagination/art/dreams/movement in processing experiences.
- Use of brain-body research to inform interventions that create new neural pathways.
- Use of therapeutic relationship to develop secure attachment experience and repair insecure attachment disruptions.
How to get the most out of therapy:
Things to consider
- You have a desire for a better life, and despite not experiencing it right now, hold a vision of yourself as empowered that motivates you to make the time and investment in therapy.
- You understand that long-term change is from the inside out. There may be circumstances in your life that need to change, but ultimately you know that change requires an inward focus and a willingness to be open about your experience.
- You know that it takes effort on your part. You are willing to be prepared for your sessions, to take small risks to experiment and break habits, to stay with, slow down and move towards what may be uncomfortable.
- You understand that it ‘s hard for us all to make changes by ourselves – even though you find it difficult to admit that. Becoming self-aware requires us to reflect, to allow the emergence of unconscious material, and consider the perspective of others.
- You are prepared to commit to regular sessions. Depending on your goals for therapy, sessions typically start as weekly sessions and for some twice weekly to work through defenses and lifelong patterns that have kept you stuck. Sessions often move to biweekly over time. The frequency of therapy is different for everyone, but without understanding that it is an ongoing process you may not make the gains you wish.
- No-one else can tell you when you are ready for this. Often it comes at a time of crisis, a turning point in your life or a sense that there must be something more to life.
The counselling process involves a relationship with a therapist, in which a safe space is created to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. The relationship is fostered on a curiosity to explore and make conscious one’s desires that are hidden, wounded, and lacking vitality, with the intention of creating a movement into wholeness and freedom of self.
We naturally want to avoid painful feelings, but the avoidance often creates more suffering. An important task of therapy is to tolerate all of our emotions, positive and negative.
Important aspects of the therapy process
Through the relationship with a therapist you will discover aspects of yourself that have been denied or lost. The relationship with your therapist allows you to become conscious of your experience through the reflection and attention that is given to you. In order to cope, you may have developed ways of dealing with emotional pain that have separated you from your experience. Typically people report a mixture of feelings at the beginning of therapy. There is relief in feeling supported and safe in expressing oneself, yet discomfort with the growing awareness of experiences you have defended against.
Over time you will feel more comfortable with your feelings, thoughts and sensations. We become more self aware by focusing inward and sharing that with sensitive others. As therapy proceeds you will relax into your experience further. Emotional and mental health can be seen as the ability to integrate what we experience in the world around us with our internal reality.
Only you can change things in your life. Therapy provides a place to rehearse and prepare for the changes you want to make. As you practice relating differently in the safety of the counselling relationship you will gain confidence in translating that practice to your communications with other people in your life.